Splinters are nagging. They are so tiny yet they cause so much pain. The worst ones are the ones that get stuck under the skin. You can’t reach them without pulling back layers of skin, which is a painful process in and of itself. After a while, you forget about them, but they hurt whenever pressure is applied to a certain area around them.

We also have splinters in life. They are those negative moments that our memory can’t erase. Those sour memories forever shape the course of our lives until we fully heal from them. A couple of my personal splinters include:

1. When I was rejected by the first girl I asked to be my girlfriend in 5th grade. This single event shaped how I related to girls for the next ten years. I didn’t trust the women I liked and as a result ended up hurting them.

2. The time I got thrown out at home plate during the little league all stars semi-finals game to conclude the final inning. This moment made me a more cautious player in all sports, which ultimately hurt my baseball, basketball, and soccer performance.

3. And more…

Fortunately, I have many moments to be proud of like:
• Hitting .800 in the same baseball tournament mentioned above
• The castle I built in 7th grade
• Making the math Olympics team in 6th grade
• Earning the Math and Citizenship Awards at high school graduation
• Leading the 2003 UCLA High School Conference
• My UCLA African Grad speech in 2003
• And more…

Despite the successes that I remember and people remember me for, I must still dig out the many splinters that I have accumulated that are still shaping my decisions today. I don’t want to hurt anymore more women. I want to trust and love my mom, my future wife, and my female friends. I don’t want to look over my shoulder in the game of baseball, basketball, or life. I want to take educated risk; only risk yield large rewards.

What are your splinters and how are they affecting your today?

Live purposefully!

Inspired by Miguel

As a driver, the time of most uncertainty is when approaching a yellow light. I never know how long they are going to be because they all vary in length. I fear that I’ll be caught by a camera or police officer if I’m a millisecond to late. Even a stop sign would be better because it’s clearer; without guessing, I know that I have to come to a full stop.

I’ve never been ticketed for running a red light because I don’t hesitate. I’ve set my mind in advance that I’m going to go for it. I think we make more mistakes when we hesitate or do things half-heartedly. Our judgment is based on our risk preference. A person who is cautious will always stop; they play by all of the rules and never stray into the grey areas. A person that is risk-loving will always go; their commitment minimizes hesitation and conveys a confidence that their decision is justified.

We all have yellow lights in our lives. They come in the form of major decisions, major crisis, life transitions, and unforeseen life obstacles. There are intersections in life that we’re not sure whether we should stop at, push through, or judge in the moment. Yellow lights are meant to slow us down at these intersections. It is not the yellow light that slows us down; the yellow light represents fear. The only way to overcome fear is to run through the very thing that we fear; slowing down only lengthens the yellow light (or period of fear).

In life, the lights are not synchronized. Do what everyone else does and end up where everyone else ends up. Playing it safe gets us nowhere. At some point, we will all be faced with yellow lights in life. If you are clear about your destination and purpose, don’t allow yellow lights or fear to slow you down. Push through! What is your yellow light policy? Have you predetermined that you’re going to:
A. Always, stop
B. Play it by eye
C. Always, push through

Being able to anticipate fear and have a pre-determined strategy to deal with it will make your life more fruitful and less average.

Live purposefully!

What can you fluently speak about for at least 2 hours? There are many types of foreign languages beyond Spanish, French, and Chinese. Foreign languages can be literal foreign languages (ie I’m fluent in Spanish) or they can be topical (ie I’m fluent on 19th century American culture). I define a foreign language as anything that you are an expert on or in. Typically expertise is discerned by:

• a subject-specific vocabulary
• well thought out opinions
• thought-provoking questions
• citing research, current events, and key people
• referencing and arguing multiple theories

I consider myself to be fluent in business, education, and personal development. In the language of business, the average person doesn’t know what the MACRs depreciation schedule, LIFO, or Porter’s Five Forces are. In the field of education, I can reference and argue various theories like Bandura’s social cognitive theory, Dembo’s self-regulated learning, or Boyatzis’ self-directed learning. Lastly, in the personal development industry, I can tell you who all of the key players are, the history of the industry, and share my opinions on the industry’s flaws and future.

Consider all of the languages that you speak. The next time someone asks you “Do you speak a foreign language?” don’t just think Spanish, French, or Chinese. Think about your passions; whatever you can talk about deeply is a like a foreign language to them. We are teaching a foreign language whenever we exchange knowledge. So the next time you get a chance, share a new word with someone from one of the many languages that you speak. Your passions are what make you unique. They are gifts to the world that are meant to be shared, in order to help others see and understand the world from a new perspective.

Live purposefully!

Student: How do we change the world?

Teacher: Good question! Let’s examine how the world has changed throughout time. How would you describe the world in the beginning?

Student: Euphoric and peaceful.

Teacher: How would you describe it today?

Student: In turmoil.

Teacher: What changed?

Student: The people.

Teacher: So what needs to change to restore order?

Student: The people.

Teacher: You have answered wisely. Many people think that institutions like the government are the root causes of all social problems. But what sustains every institution in existence?

Student: People.

Teacher: Correct! Change the individuals and the institution will naturally change. The true problem is that people don’t understand how their everyday choices aggregate to create larger problems. We can only solve the problem once we realize that part of its source is in us.

Student: So how do I change people?

Teacher: You can’t. You can only change yourself. When Gandhi said “Be the change you wish to see”, he meant for each one of us to be an example of change. Model the lifestyle your heart knows is right; nobody can stop you from doing for self. Others will either choose to accept or reject your model. No convincing is needed. Extrinsic factors like fear, incentives, laws, and force are irrelevant. All lasting change is intrinsic; change must come from within. Change within and you will naturally change without. How do you impact the world?

Live purposefully!

Remix by Jullien Gordon

[Verse 1]

God I’m in love with you
Don’t want to run from you
Past my adolescent stage
I am your pick of love
You are the trick to love
It seems like we bargain everyday

[Bridge]

I know I misbehaved
And I make poor mistakes
And I know I’ve got room left to grow
And though I sometimes curve
I still choose you first
Faith makes these things work
But I think I should pray for hope

[Chorus]

We're extraordinary people
And we know which way to go
Cuz we're extraordinary people
Maybe we should pave the road (pave the road oh oh ohh)
Pave the road (pave the road oh oh ohh)
This time we'll pave the road

[Verse 2]

This is my new year’s y’all
This year I’m choosing God
It’s like I’m reborn everyday
I know I’m heaven sent
God is like my seventh sense
I trust that you’ll show me the way

[Bridge]

I change up and fall
But you don’t change at all
And I feel like I just can’t stay straight
As our love advances
You give second chances
Though I lose my path
I put my faith in you and say

[Chorus]

We're extraordinary people
And we know which way to go
Cuz we're extraordinary people
Maybe we should pave the road (pave the road oh oh ohh)
Pave the road (pave the road oh oh ohh)
This time we'll pave the road

[Verse 3]

Pave the road
Maybe I’ll live and learn
No way I’ll crash and burn
Maybe I’ll stay, maybe I’ll leave,
maybe I’ll return
Maybe another night
Maybe a new insight
But maybe I’ll grow
Only you know Lord God youuuu and I

[Chorus]

We're extraordinary people
And we know which way to go
Cuz we're extraordinary people
Maybe we should pave the road (pave the road oh oh ohh)
Pave the road (pave the road oh oh ohh)
This time we'll pave the road
We're extraordinary people
And we know which way to go
Cuz we're extraordinary people
Maybe we should pave the road (pave the road oh oh ohh)
Pave the road (pave the road oh oh ohh)
This time we'll pave the road