How To Plan For Success
They say if you fail to plan then you plan to fail. Well, I've created a tool called the Personal Planning Chart to help you track your success and facilitate a process I call the Circle of Purpose. The thing about New Years resolutions is that (if we even follow up on them) we don't follow up until we randomly find the document somewhere or December 31st of the next year when we're trying to write our new ones. The year isn't the only cycle in our life. The Circle of Purpose and Personal Planning Chart make it easy for you to break-down and measure your daily, weekly, and quarterly progress in a way that will make your year great. We spend our careers being accountable to someone else's goals so it's about time that we spend our lives being accountable to our own.

What's hot about the Personal Planning Chart is that:
1. It fits on 1-page
2. It's pretty much just a check list
3. It has an easy way to measure your daily, weekly, and quarterly goals

Download a blank Personal Planning Chart here and then click through this short PowerPoint to see how to fill it out.

| View | Upload your own

• Read for growth
• Eat fruits and vegetables

• Have dinner with a friend
• Blog
• Call mom
  

• Launch the new Mylinia.com website and invite 100 Mylinials to be part of it
  
• Complete 1st draft of my book on purpose-finding and have it read by an editor
  
• Complete 1st version of purpose-finder board game
• Host 3 potlucks in New York
  

5 Reasons Why New Years Resolutions Fail2008 is upon us and many of us don't want it to look anything like 2007. However, if the parents don't change then the appearance won't change, and we're going to give birth to some ugly twins! We're carrying forward the old goals from 2007 (which were carried forward from 2006, which were carried forward from 2005...) that we didn't finish (or even start for that matter) and we're adding new goals on top of those. Oftentimes, we don't know the 'why' behind our own goals and we just do them because they sound good and everybody is (saying that they are) doing them. Here are 5 reasons why most New Years resolutions fail, but keep in mind that the new year is a mind set, not a date set in mind. Hopefully you can avoid some of these pitfalls in your new year.

1. They aren't realistic

Solutions:

• Limit your goals to 3 major ones by eliminating the one's that sound good to others but don't sound good to you.
• Estimate how many days, hours, or weeks it will truly take to complete and plan accordingly.

• Type it or write and then put it next to your mirror.
• Laminate it and put it on the shower wall.
• Record an audio version and put in on your iPod.

• Find a partner for each goal.
• Exchange resolutions with your most on-point friends.
• Schedule monthly dinners or phone calls with that group of friends to discuss progress.

• Instead of saying "I want to lose weight" say "I want to lose 20 lbs".
• For the tougher to measure goals, create a fun measurement that's correlative (ie If you want to be a better friend, count how many times you call your friends to check on them even when they haven't called you).
• Make it a game and keep score for yourself.

• Give each goal a realistic completion date other than Dec. 31st 2008.
• Differentiate between goals that are daily (ie drink water), weekly (ie exercise 3 times), monthly (ie save $200), quarterly, and annual.
• Put monthly checkpoints on your phone, online, or paper calendar.

The Santa Claus SyndromeAs a child, I remember sleeping by the fireplace on Christmas Eve in hopes that I would catch Santa Claus squeeze his way down the chimney without getting a speck of black soot on his red velvet suit and without breaking my new Nintendo on the way down. Though my house had 4 doors, many windows, and a garage, I assumed that the chimney was the only way Santa could deliver. Despite practically sleeping in the fireplace through Christmas morning, I never caught Santa Claus come down the chimney, eat the Oreo cookies, or drink the 8-hour old milk. Somehow...some other way, my presents found their way under the tree.

In life, we limit the way the Universe can deliver its gifts to us. Many of us have our own 5-year plan...you know...the get married by 30, house by 35, and multi-millions by 40 plan. We assume that we're going to get what we want, the way we want it, exactly when we want it. By doing so we limit all the possible ways our good can come to us just like a child limits all of the possible ways Santa Claus can deliver its gifts.

I call it the Santa Claus Syndrome and the Chimney Constraint. The Chimney Constraint occurs when a person erroneously expects big gifts from God to fit down their own narrow planned path. While we stare at the chimney with our backs to the tree, mad that Santa has yet to come, little do we know that our gifts are already under the tree awaiting us. We must recognize that everything is in-possible to the universe and the channels (opportunities, people, information, etc) by which God can reach us are infinite. Be careful what you wish for; the Universe will always give you exactly what you ask for, though it may come later than expected, perhaps an after-Christmas sale. Step back from the chimney and observe the gifts already sitting under the highly decorated tree that is you.

Mary Christ-Mass Eve!

Cheating on the Job
Stacks of paper to the roof
kinda like the attic be
but deep under these sheets
I'm having fantasies
maybe after work
you'd like to go dance with me
oh...you want me now?
log-on and chat with me

I'm cheating on the job
not with another girl
I'm cheating on my job
with the rest of the world
daydreaming, my thoughts twirl
like I just flushed the toilet
an hour long bathroom break
I just wanna enjoy it

Employment can be annoying
when its not in line with purpose
it ain't worth it all that working
unless it's spiritually rewarding
a hostage to all my bosses
sick of this, I need a lozenge
if money can't buy time
then my time is really costly

stealing staples like its cable
taking anything without labels
that conference room desk
is looking like a dining table
you can't keep me in this stable
with illusions of being stable
might be new kid on the block
but your thought's a day old

this celery of a salary
is green, but doesn't matter see
what matters to me
will energize my inner battery
I can't keep dragging me
from my car across the street
leaving half of my identity
in the passenger seat

this affair isn't fair
to my job or to my dreams
where I spend my time
is where I plant my seeds
in this dog eat dog world
jobs will hound you then pound you
if I want to create value
I've got to do that which I value

HR thinks we're married
but I'm not even engaged
I thought options meant choice
but when it's stock it means you stay
retirement's too far away
my dreams are calling me today
not fired up they'll fire me
I've got new tracks to blaze

so I put in my 14 days
I got a little money saved
I had to jump ship
cause they pushed me to the plank
now I'm swimming with the sharks
not protected by Noah's Ark
as my career comes to an end
my life finally starts

I feel the beating in my heart
marching to my own drum
I feel alive, I feel in love
a superstar like the sun
23 to 45 are key times
ask Michael Jordan
he retired then returned 'cause
the bleachers are boring

iPod Shuffling Through Life
The other morning, I was on the subway and I really wanted to hear Lupe Fiasco's "Superstar" song to start my day off on the right foot. Most iPod users would just be able to find the song in seconds on their iPod, but I happen to own an iPod Shuffle, the only iPod without a LCD display. I never found the song, however, in my moment of frustration from not being able to control my play list, I began to realize how much my iPod Shuffle was like life.

With an iPod Shuffle, you never know what song is next. You may find the song you're looking for and you may not. Oftentimes, while you're looking for one song, you end up bobbing your head or even two-stepping to other ones along the way. What's even crazier is that the song you end up really feeling and listening to over and over again isn't the one you originally set out to hear.

Like all of the other iPods, we want to be in control of our lives. We want to determine our own play list and are willing to pay extra costs to be DJ and have that security and certainty. Our desire to control costs us by cutting off possibilities that we never imagined. In the same way that songs somehow find us when we let go and just shuffle at random, opportunities somehow pop up when we release our lives to the Divine Judge (DJ). There is no DJ more in tune with our hearts and the Universe than the Divine Judge.

Life is random like a play list, but after a while, it starts to know what we like and play more of that type of music. Give thanks for the original song I was looking for because the pursuit of it led me to all of the other great ones.

The iPod Shuffling Through Life Play List

1. Just For Today by India Arie
2. Who Cares by Gnarls Barkley
3. In The End by Linkin Park
4. + YOUR SONGS HERE +
   

Who the Hell is in my Bed?

Do you really know your partner? The last thing we want to do is wake up after 25 years of marriage and realize that we don't know the person sleeping next to us. However, we assume that our countless conversations and time together have helped us paint accurate pictures of one another's lives. That's not always true because we spend so much of the early stages of our relationships trying to sell ourselves that our authentic selves don't surface until it's too late!

Below is a fun weekend activity to do with your partner to fill in the gaps. At the end of the exercise, you will feel more connected then ever before.

Filling the Gaps Storytelling Ritual

Purpose:
To connect two souls on a deeper level by facilitating an authentic conversation about their lives

Requirements:
Honesty, 1-2 hours, and a quiet comfortable space (preferably in nature)

Order:
Imagine that the two partners are Eve and Adam.

1. Eve speaks as if she is Adam. Eve will share the life of Adam as she knows and understands it with as much detail as possible starting from Adam's birth through today all the way to the through to Adam's life vision and goals. Eve will include all of the important people, places, and events in Adam's life that make Adam who he is.

2. Afterwards, Adam will be able to ask Eve any questions that he wants about his own life to refresh Eve's memory of the things that are truly important to him (ie What happened in 6th grade that changed your world view?). It's okay for Eve to say I don't remember.

3. Finally, Adam fills in any important gaps that Eve missed and should know about and corrects anything that Eve may have been misinterpreted.

4. In round 2, Eve and Adam switch roles and repeat steps 1, 2, and 3.

Distant Love

You've been tapping into
my roll over minutes
but I really want to rollover in my bed
and have you in it
I'm not dependent
but committed
to this vision
as it is written
we may have 9 lives
like a kitten
but with this one
I'm not kidding

The distance in existence
between our body parts
can never overcome
the pistons in our throbbing hearts
we only see each other Christmas
and weekends to sob for Martin
that makes me twice grateful
for the lives of all our martyrs

It wasn't in my plans
that's why I don't understand
4 years in this amazing maze
led us to the same path
2 writers
freedom fighters
creating love
and living righteous
I might fight for freedom
but I know I can't fight this

You conquer me with love
always honor what's above
my Goliath of an ego
submits to your David touch
you touch my mind
you touch my soul
you've been mining
me like gold
our purpose cannot surface
without digging the unknown

I feel like I'm in a zone
twilight, but not alone
balancing our galaxies
as we talk God on the phone
some people fly planes
and think they're really fly
but we're on another plane
the plane of the most high

How could I be 3 hours ahead
and you still catch me?
How could we be across the country
and still wet sheets?
Regardless of the distance
I firmly take this stance
since the Spirit transcends all
we should surely take a chance

Inspired by Sundrop

Spiritual Software
I worship my computer
as if it's my god
even though my inner software
is better than Microsoft's
I never turn it off
therefore it's omnipresent
it lights my room in darkness
so it's luminescent

H.P. is my Higher Power
also got an Apple like Eve
I'm caught up in this rat race
and the mouse won't leave
I don't idolize it
but there are a few icons
I've been monitoring through my windows
and keeping my eyes on

I kneel down to my computer
8 hours a day
Muslims pray 5 times
but I will put that to shame
I'm crawling for my domain
on the world wide web
I'm closer to my computer
than this girl I met

I'm a g-mail
if 'g' stands for god
searching for a g-girl
on online dating spots
I pray to it for jobs
even though I'm scared of Monsters
this spiritual plane flies anywhere
from coral reefs to concerts

"Seek ye first the kingdom"
so I typed it into Google
but the search results were empty
I would've at least thought that you knew
instead for my search engine
I search within
no matter how much
it gigahertz to dig

I've made some hard drives forward
but sometimes I just back it up
exploring my mental office
the files aren't stacking up
I give it my ideas
hoping it'll make them live
even if I ram them in
some end up recycled binned

My PC and I've been clicking
but it's not my type
I know my Power Point resides
deep down inside
there is life in my Word
and my Outlook is positive
but in order to Excel
I need change my technology

5 Phases of the Pursuit of Purpose

1. Inquiring = starting to question

2. Investigating = starting to explore

3. Invoking = starting to voice it to others

4. Investing = starting to put energy (time, money, etc) into it

5. Inspiring = starting to move others to pursue their purpose

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