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My spiritual partner and I recently ended our 7 month partnership. In most cases, relationships end on bad terms, but I was determined to maintain the friendship that existed before we began our spiritual partnership. When a relationship transitions, we have the tendency to try to allocate blame. Thoughts like "S/he did this to me" or "S/he did that to me" or "I can't stand wo/men" race through our minds, but I recently realized that:

1. There is nothing wrong with her
2. There is nothing wrong with me
3. There is nothing wrong with women
4. There is nothing wrong with men

With this in mind, there is no reason to place blame. Instead we should give thanks! Relationships can transition for reasons that don't suggest that there is something wrong with either individual or their gender. It could simply be the wrong two, wrong time, and/or wrong type.

Wrong Two:

All relationships are exploratory. A romantic relationship is simply two people engaging in frequent exchanges of love and energy for an extended period of time to see if they are right for each other and want to commit to a lifetime together. It's okay to find out after a while that the two of you aren't a match for each other.

Wrong Time:

People come in and out of our lives like seasons and some seasons are longer than others. Our partner may have been the perfect match for us during a particular period of our life, but times change and so do people. Every person serves a particular purpose in our lives for a different period of time. It's okay when seasons and people change because it means that you are growing and changing as well.

Wrong Type:

People's roles in our lives also change over time. It is likely that our partner began as acquaintance, then became a good friend, and ultimately became our partner. In and of itself, the process of creating a partnership involves three different types of relationships. Perhaps what you needed each other for when the relationship began has changed and that's okay.

Breakups don't have to be bad. The true challenge is being honest about our needs and changes in those needs with those we care about and those that care about us. Perhaps the new versions of the two people, at a new time , in a new type of way may fall in love again.


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Jullien's Purpose Statement

My purpose is to help as many people as possible reach their full potential by helping them making a living doing what they love and in the process of doing so achieve my own. I want to do this through writing, speaking, and creating offline and online spaces that facilitate conversations around purpose.

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