Lately I've started to realize how little control I have over certain occurrences in the world while at the same time trying to preserve my identity as a change agent. It has been a struggle. What do we have control over and what don't we? This is an important question because I don't want to waste my time trying to change things I don't have control over. The areas where this insight has shined the brightest for me are my career and my relationships.

In business I used to think that the CEO "controlled" everything...the people, the decisions, the vision, the success or failure of the company. Over the past two years as CEO of Mylinia.com, I've realized that the CEO's job is supposed to be to relinquish all control to the employees and customers to make decisions that affect the company's vision and overall success. Even with that said, they are still market forces (ie bad economy) and global forces (ie natural disasters) that aren't in a CEO's control but could negatively or positively impact the company.

In romantic relationships and friendships I've realized that people are united or meet because of a force outside of themselves. I never said that I wanted Angelo to be my best friend, but I'm thankful for the force that brought us together at Bishop O'Dowd and has sustained us for over a decade now. In romantic relationships, we call the force that brings two people together love, but we should be aware that that same force has the power to take them apart when it wants to. Instead of trying to explain everything, beat oneself up or blame the other person, sometimes we have to rest in not knowing 'why' and trust that that force knows what is best for us at that moment.

I think we're taught to have an explanation for everything as if we're all knowing, but there are invisible forces in the world that transcend cause and effect. We're also taught to take credit for everything that we accomplish, but I'm starting to see accomplishments as things that Spirit does through me as me instead of things that happened because of me. Why Spirit has chosen to do certain things on this Earth...I don't know. I don't control that =)

Below is the transcript from a Google chat I had with Selome after a friend of hers said "im not a dreamer, i'm a realist"
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Selome: what is your analysis of someone who says "im not a dreamer, i'm a realist"

me: Dreamers are realist too. The only difference is that the reality of a dreamer expands beyond the reality of a so called realist :) In the mind of a so called realist, anyone whose possibilities expand beyond their own is called a dreamer.

Realists cut off possibilities and think of the impossible, whereas dreamers create possibilities and think of the in-possible. Neither one knows what is actually possible, but at least a dreamers thoughts and hopes aren't pre-im-prisoned before even trying.

Selome: i'm like but dreams aren't UNrealistic

me: Good point. dreams are just thoughts and realities yet to manifest.

Selome: i was asking him, so u don't have visions that you want to manifest one day? it was like awwww man, u need a smiley face on ur forehead

me: in the same way that a dent-ist works on dental areas, every dreamer must become a real-ist and do work on reality if their dreams are going to manifest.

An economics professor and a student were strolling through the campus.

"Look," the student cried, "there's a $100 bill on the path!"

"No, you are mistaken," the wiser head replied. "That cannot be. If there were actually a $100 bill, someone would have picked it up."

Each of us wears a pair of glasses that are colored by our experiences and knowledge. A person who knows less and experienced less sees less. Train yourself to see the world through the lenses of your passions and your experiences and every day you will see new opportunities. Be aware and keep your eyes open. There are $100 dollar bills floating all around you.

When a musician sees the world…
…they see ideas for songs.

When an entrepreneur sees the world…
….they see ideas for businesses.

When a filmmaker sees the world…
…they see ideas for movies.

When a professor sees the world…
…they see ideas for research.

When an architect sees the world…
…they see ideas for blueprints.

When a fashion designer sees the world…
…they see ideas for clothes.

When a pessimist sees the world…
…they see chronic problems.

When an optimist sees the world…
….they see alternative solutions.

When I see the world…
…I see wisdom to share with you.

What do you see everyday?

Live purposefully!

Inspired by: Emmanuel Osei-Kuffour

How has the puzzle industry managed to survive in the midst of Play Station 3s + X-Boxes? Both forms of entertainment require problem solving, but puzzles tap into the visionary within us in that we are fully aware of what we are trying to build towards before the project begins.

Thus, Rule #1 of puzzle building: Look at the box

The process of putting together a puzzle requires patience, discipline, and focus. As we try to finding matching pieces, trial and error are the only way to succeed. Therefore, the best way to start is to identify your limits and just start with what you know.

Thus, Rule #2 of puzzle building: Build the border

Once the border is complete, there are gaps to fill. This is the most challenging part, yet the vision motivates you to continue. You trust that the manufacturer has included every piece that you need to succeed in the box. It's up to you to connect the pieces together, but the only way to make the links is to aggregate pieces that are alike.

Thus, Rule #3 of puzzle building: Group the pieces

It is difficult to just start connecting random pieces together; instead you begin with one section at a time. In order to establish continuity, we build on what we already know and connect sections to the existing border.

Thus, Rule #4 of puzzle building: Work from the outside in

Life is like puzzle building.

The box is like our vision; it gives us something to work toward.

The border is like our limits; it determines our skill sets and focuses our impact.

The groups are like our different developmental areas and supporting experiences that color our life (spiritual, physical, professional, etc); they help us recognize and appreciate our holistic self.

The work inwards is the process; it leads to knowledge of self.

Live purposefully!

According to sources, in the early stages of the game, Bill Gates wrote a 3-page letter to Steve Jobs explaining how Apple could dominate the computer industry. Bill Gates was comfortable doing this because he was positioned to dominate the software industry. Bill Gates is worth $50B more than Steve Jobs.

Visionaries sometime overlook the challenges.
Strategists face the problems head on.

Steve Jobs of Apple is a visionary.
Bill Gates of Microsoft is a strategist.

It is easy to get caught up on vision and overlook the work that must be done to get there. It is just as easy to get caught up on strategy and forget the guiding vision. As we strive to change the world by changing ourselves, it is important to balance both strategy and vision.

Live purposefully!