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Even when it's not our intention to hurt others, sometimes we accidentally do. Just like in sports, even when two teams are playing a hard healthy game and being good sportsman, it is possible for any player to get injured. Imagine being responsible for ending Michael Jordan's professional basketball career because you accidentally low bridged him on a dunk. I've hurt my fair share of people, though it has never been my intention to do so. That feeling sucks even though potentially getting hurt is part of the game. I used to kill myself with guilt about these situations, but I recently learned a lesson on forgiveness that has allowed me to transcend my own guilt. Thankfully, instead of becoming a cautious player after situations like these, by forgiving myself I have learned to release my fears of hurting others and/or being hurt and can live life free of hesitation. This applies to professional, emotional, and spiritual relationships.

1. Forgive yourself first:
Forgiveness starts with you. Oftentimes we look to other people to forgive us. Don't wait too long; that may take awhile. Give the other person space and time to heal. In the meantime, release your guilt and forgive yourself. Eventually, unforgiveness by others disappears because there will come a time when they need to be forgiven by someone else and it would be hypocritical of them not to forgive you first...even if they never tell you that they forgive you.

2. Be sincere the first time:
Your words have power. It's not about how many times, how many ways, or how much you spend to say sorry. At the end of the day it comes down to whether of not you truly meant it to yourself and the other person. This requires understanding how our choices affected the other person and empathizing with them.

3. Don't present yourself as perfect:
We're all perfectly imperfect. Especially when it comes to dating, we try to put our best foot forward and present ourselves as flawless. When someone perceives you as perfect, there is no room for error. Be real about who you are from the gates or else life will create situations that speak on your behalf.

4. Don't make the same mistake twice:
Life is funny. It will continuously throw the same challenges at us over and over again in different ways until we face them head on. In order to truly learn from our mistakes and grow, we must examine where we could have made different choices that lead to more positive outcomes in the future.

Inspired by "What I've Done" by Linkin Park (Video | Lyrics)

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Jullien's Purpose Statement

My purpose is to help as many people as possible reach their full potential by helping them making a living doing what they love and in the process of doing so achieve my own. I want to do this through writing, speaking, and creating offline and online spaces that facilitate conversations around purpose.

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