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Two 1/2s Don't Make 1 Whole

...Two halves make a "hole". Mathematically it's true. 1/2 + 1/2 = 1. But spiritually, the equation doesn't stand.

Sometimes when we fall in love, we start to say things that sound sweet like "You're my other half" or "You complete me". Well, if someone completes us, then what happens when they leave. Are we incomplete?

Complement and complete are two separate things. Two things that are complete are complementary, but two things that are complementary aren't necessarily complete. There is a difference between having a matching socks that complete a pair and having two matching socks with holes that complement each other. The complete and complementary pair are useful; The complementary only socks should be throw away.

When we enter relationships with the half-and-half mindset that someone will complete us and make us whole, oftentimes we breed co-dependency instead of partnership. In co-dependent relationships, it isn't about our growth, our partners growth, or the growth of the relationship. It's simply about sustaining where we are instead of sustaining growth. The pattern is falling in love, not getting what we need, and then resenting that person when we knew from the beginning that the relationship was founded on our desires instead of the divine. A divine foundation is the only place from which Good creation can grow.

When 2 whole people coming together, a third being is formed. In this case, 1 + 1 = 3. Biologically, we see this manifest when a man and woman come together to create a child. In the business world we see this manifest when two business partners come together to form a corporation. The third being creates space for true partnership, where the 2 people (complete in and of themselves) can grow together through the third entity.

Whole doesn't = perfect; We all have room for growth. Whole = not wanting. When people are actively seeking a relationship, it's usually because they are wanting. We don't necessarily want "someone", we want "something" that we thing someone can give us, and anyone who can give me that something is on the ballot. The way the Universe works, whole-people tend to attract whole-people and half-people tend to attract half-people. Therefore, if we want a whole-istic and healthy partnership, we must seek to be whole first, healing from the past and opening ourselves to new possibilities.

"I'm a movement by myself, but I'm a force when we're together. I'm good all by myself, but you, you make me better."
-You Make Me Better by Neyo & Fabolous

1 Responses to You Complete Me

  1. Anonymous Says:
  2. This is an very insightful piece. I am totally agree with your thoughts and I wish more people understood that you must be whole before you can truly be in a healthy reltaionship.


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Jullien's Purpose Statement

My purpose is to help as many people as possible reach their full potential by helping them making a living doing what they love and in the process of doing so achieve my own. I want to do this through writing, speaking, and creating offline and online spaces that facilitate conversations around purpose.

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