Hi,

My name is Jullien Gordon and I am a success-aholic. I am drunk with the desire to succeed and my favorite drink is Security 151. I realize that I've been trying to avoid my fear of not having and being average. I like security because I'm really insecure. I believe in God, but I'd trust God a lot more with a couple million dollars in my bank account! The more money I make, the less I think I need God. I admire the poor for their faith. After trying and trying and failing and failing, I know that security is not the cure for insecurity. God is.

Who the hell am I to think that I'm better than anyone else? In the past, I have falsely attributed all of my success to myself. In all honesty, I was lucky to be born unto the family I was born to, the place and time I was born in, and to have all of the opportunities I had. I had absolutely no control over these things.

I think that that is why I'm addicted to success. I know that I've been blessed with so much more than the average person and therefore there is this never-ending pressure to be above average to myself, to my family, to my peers, and to others. I fear being the one with all the potential in the world that never realized it.

My own desire to succeed is killing me. I haven't even defined what success is for myself so I wouldn't even know if I achieved it or not. I want to stop chasing this distant and elusive thing called success and learn to make daily decisions that are in line with my heart and my purpose. I'm coming to realize that success is a road, not a destination, and that I take a step forward on the road "of" success (not on the road "to" success) every time I make an authentic choice.

Thank you for welcoming me to the Success-aholics group. I look forward to your support in helping me overcome my addiction.