Making (a) Room for Error

At the beginning of our relationship, Selome and I wrote out our commitment to one another and two of the most important statements were:

1. We acknowledge problems, but focus more on solutions
2. We're always growing and evolving and therefore we're always learning new things about one another so it is okay to make mistakes as long as we use them as opportunities to learn more about each other.

In many ways, we see our relationship as an experiment with love.

When scientists enter a lab to conduct an experiment, they know that they are literally walking into a room for error. Scientist know that through the process of trial and error, they will ultimately find a solution that makes all of their mistakes and time worthwhile. As a matter of fact, on could argue that the more mistakes one makes, the more likely and frequently they will succeed if they are able to learn from their mistakes. People who try to avoid making mistakes and taking risk because of ego, perfectionism, or fear of being wrong are the one's who don't end up succeeding; they simply do what they know is already possible without challenging the unknown.

Just for a moment, release the romanticized version of love promoted in the media and think of dating as an experiment. When you look at dating like an experiment you create room for error. In that space, you and your partner have the freedom to blow things up, burn things up, build things up, and watch them fall. As long as both partners are committed to finding solutions to new problems that arise, the experiment will ultimately succeed. However, if either person gives up the moment something goes wrong, the partnership won't succeed and both people will make the same mistake in their next experiment.

Making (a) room for error is the only way to truly test the chemistry that binds you and your partner together.