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Spring Cleaning Within 2008

Spring is here and it's time to clean up. Throw out the old; bring in the new. I'm opening my internal closets and shining light in dark corners within.

As of today, I'm trying to stop projecting perfection on the external side of my body or temple when my real estate within is not entirely clean. It's inauthentic to those who "think" they know me and hurtful to myself - the one who has to "act" self-righteous all the time. This post has been inspired in part by Lauryn Hill's journey over the past few years. Most people want the old 1998 Mis-Education Lauryn Hill back, but she has transcended that and moved on, yet many of her fans (including myself) have trapped her in an old box. As Nikki Giovanni once said "Even my flaws are correct".

Oftentimes...
  1. I don't listen well because I can be arrogant and think I know it all
  2. I'm shy because I'm afraid of letting people too close
  3. I'm quiet to a point of being pseudo-passive because I'm afraid of my own light
  4. I plan too much instead of being fully present in the moment
  5. I cut people off in the moments when I need to embrace them or need them to embrace me
  6. I project perfection because I thought perfection was more inspirational then authenticity
  7. I try to control life because I'm a success-aholic and lack faith
  8. I don't trust people because I still haven't truly forgiven my mother
  9. I'm selfish and shut down when I don't get my way
  10. I'm self-righteous and act like I know what I'm doing when I don't
I'm working on these things because they hurt me and those I care about. Post your secrets by anonymously commenting below and/or read other people's secrets here.

Now that some of my self-inflicted boxes (or caskets) are gone, I can finally breath again. That which wants to grow is never fully grown; it always needs room to grow so I'm throwing away that which I don't need anymore to make room.

...10 lbs lighter and breathing easier :)

3 comments

  1. Sallomazing! Says:
  2. I found the quote from Nikki Giovanni's "Ego Tripping": "I am so hip even my errors are correct."

     
  3. Anonymous Says:
  4. This is probably a great exercise to do w/ friends & partners, actually -- assuming everyone is prepared to be that honest.

    I'm going to try it.

    Thank you for posting.

    -Danya

     
  5. lele Says:
  6. Jullien
    wow! amazing. I am truly humbled and awed by your openness and authenticity. What a blessing to know you and see your journey. thank you for sharing.

    leilani

     

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My purpose is to help as many people as possible reach their full potential by helping them making a living doing what they love and in the process of doing so achieve my own. I want to do this through writing, speaking, and creating offline and online spaces that facilitate conversations around purpose.

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