As many of you already know, I've never drank alcohol. Some people very close to me have been affected by alcoholism and I see some of my friends exhibiting alcoholic patterns. Not good. Anyway, I've seen how Alcoholics Anonymous has helped some people dear to me recover and I believe that it is the best form of personal development to date. I can't think of another space where people of all different cultures, ages, and classes come together regularly to help each other achieve their goals.

Last week I attended my first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. I don't think you have to be a drinker to be an alcoholic in the same way that a person who has cancer but doesn't know that they have cancer is still a cancer victim. Since it's an anonymous space, I won't say much expect that the combination of community, storytelling, and celebration is amazing.

One of my goals in life is to end the NEED for AA (not AA itself) for our generation by creating healthy spaces for millennials to find community, share their stories, celebrate life. Every month I host potlucks at my house and that's exactly what we do. It's so simple. I don't get why "happy hours" get celebrated but Alcoholics Anonymous get stigmatized when it's spaces like happy hour that lead people to AA. Happy hour doesn't live up to its name.

I also wanted to share that I found a non-alcoholic wine made by J. Lohrs called ARIEL. What's crazy is that Steve Lohrs, one of the owners, lived next door to me when I was in Palo Alto and we shared a bottle over dinner. As you can see from the label above, it "contains less than one half of one percent alcohol by volume" so I guess I can't say that I've never drank any more.

I Once Was Lost, But Now I'm Found

In 2001, my car was stolen at gunpoint. It was my first car. I worked, saved, and bought it used with cash. I only had it for a few days and I didn't get insurance for it yet. It was a sunk cost. Had I had something like LoJack, the police could have recovered the car before it was totaled.

LoJack is a tracking device hidden in a vehicle so that if it ever gets stolen, it can be recovered. A vehicle with LoJack is never lost because it is always in touch with a satellite that tracks its location. Therefore, the car is always redeemable.

There is a saying that "our body is just a vehicle transporting our soul" and like our cars, sometimes we feel lost too. Like a person looking for their (stolen) car in the parking lot they park in every day, we get this feeling that something isn't right. We're not where we're supposed to be in the lot of life.

Fortunately, the divine design of the Universal Manufacturer placed a LoJack in each of us. Therefore, even when we feel lost, we can rest assure that we can always be found. To be found doesn't mean to be at our destination; To be found is to know that we're going the right way en route to the divine destination within us.

The song Amazing Grace goes "I once was lost, but now I'm found", however, the only way to be ever feel lost is to cut off communication with our Source. In the same way that the LoJack is always transmitting signals between itself and the satellite, for us, the key to feeling on track is to stay in constant communication with our satel-Light however possible (ie prayer, meditation, journaling, etc). Know that we each have a direct connect to our Source. Therefore, you've got it and can always get it back.

Have you ever got lost trying to get somewhere? I know I have! I recently noticed a pattern that whenever I realize I am lost, I started doing silly things like driving faster to make up time despite still not knowing where I was. In hindsight, usually I was driving faster and faster away from where I was supposed to be. The worst feeling is crossing the same intersection twice…or 3 times, because at that moment, I realize that it would have been easier for me to just stop and be still rather than backtracking.

Now when I’m lost, I remind myself that I always have choices:
1. Friend(s): I can call the person(s) at the intended destination,
2. Stranger: I can ask some one where I am, or
3. Map: I can pull out a map and try to find direction on my own.

As simple as these solutions sound now, I realized that instead of turning to these options first, I only used them as a last resort after my intended arrival time had passed. My own ego prevented me from humbling myself to ask for help; I didn’t want to appear like I didn’t know what I was doing or where I was going to anyone…even a stranger. As a result, I ended up in a deeper hole, wasting more gas and arriving later than I would have had I just stopped the moment I noticed I was lost. I think to myself, how easy would it have been to just call my friend at the destination…the number was right there in my cell phone and if anyone knows how to get there, it’s the person that’s already there!

I hate being lost, but I realized that in life we only feel lost if we think everyone else knows where they are going. If we transform our perception of ourselves on this journey called life from “someone who is lost” to “someone who is seeking”, the stigma disappears. One person can not walk every path, but our collective experiences map what has already been explored. We are all seeking something; therefore, no one is really lost. Feel free to ask me for help whenever; I won’t judge you ☺

When I was a kid and perhaps even still today, I used to make fun of or think differently about the kids on the yellow bus. Those were the “special” kids. They needed extra attention, support, love, and encouragement to mature into productive citizens.

If this is the criteria for riding the yellow, then I should have been on the yellow bus right next to you, because you and I are special too! You and I also need extra attention, support, love, and encouragement to reach our full potential. The only difference between myself and those on the yellow bus was that I received many of those things from home whereas they may have received them primarily from school.

The kids on the yellow bus went to special ed class. Jokes about special ed usually came right after a failed yo’ momma joke. But special ed is a place where your specialness is celebrated and appreciated. Because we live in a culture that forces us to compare ourselves to each other so much, many of our environments like school and work tend to focus on how inadequate we are. For those of us that didn’t ride the yellow bus, I ask, where do you go to realize how special you are? Home? Church? Nature? Friends?

I am special. My yellow bus is the wave of sunlight that I ride on because I have dependable people and places I can go to that make me aware of my specialness. It’s funny but many times our friends think more highly of us than we think of ourselves; that’s why we need them to remind us of who we are. I’m no more special or less special than you or the kids on the yellow bus, but people have different levels of awareness about their specialness, I pray that people and places are in your life to reflect how special you truly are.

Inspired by Rev Oliver & NW

As a driver, the time of most uncertainty is when approaching a yellow light. I never know how long they are going to be because they all vary in length. I fear that I’ll be caught by a camera or police officer if I’m a millisecond to late. Even a stop sign would be better because it’s clearer; without guessing, I know that I have to come to a full stop.

I’ve never been ticketed for running a red light because I don’t hesitate. I’ve set my mind in advance that I’m going to go for it. I think we make more mistakes when we hesitate or do things half-heartedly. Our judgment is based on our risk preference. A person who is cautious will always stop; they play by all of the rules and never stray into the grey areas. A person that is risk-loving will always go; their commitment minimizes hesitation and conveys a confidence that their decision is justified.

We all have yellow lights in our lives. They come in the form of major decisions, major crisis, life transitions, and unforeseen life obstacles. There are intersections in life that we’re not sure whether we should stop at, push through, or judge in the moment. Yellow lights are meant to slow us down at these intersections. It is not the yellow light that slows us down; the yellow light represents fear. The only way to overcome fear is to run through the very thing that we fear; slowing down only lengthens the yellow light (or period of fear).

In life, the lights are not synchronized. Do what everyone else does and end up where everyone else ends up. Playing it safe gets us nowhere. At some point, we will all be faced with yellow lights in life. If you are clear about your destination and purpose, don’t allow yellow lights or fear to slow you down. Push through! What is your yellow light policy? Have you predetermined that you’re going to:
A. Always, stop
B. Play it by eye
C. Always, push through

Being able to anticipate fear and have a pre-determined strategy to deal with it will make your life more fruitful and less average.

Live purposefully!