Shadow Boxing With SelfShadowboxing is a training exercise used boxers mainly to prepare the muscles before the person training engages in stronger physical activity. The main purpose of this exercise, apart from getting the muscles ready for other activity, is usually to maintain a fighter's rhythm and help them envision how they would look at that stage of training against a certain opponent. In shadowboxing, only one person is required to participate; the participant throws punches at no one in particular. Muhammad Ali, one of the greatest boxers in the world used this technique a lot. It made me consider whether fights are won in the ring or in the mind and if life is a 1-player game or multi-player game.

When I think of 1-player games, I think of sports like running, bowling, swimming, and golf. The soul characteristic that differentiates most 1-player games from multi-player games is that you are only competing with your best self. If a swimmer swam the world record in practice, they know that they are capable, and the challenge becomes replicating that experience whenever they want to (ie during a competition). A lot of unofficial world records have been broken during practice. When we considering having to replicate an event, we are challenged to understanding why and how we did so well. Understanding the 'why' and 'how' differentiates the greats from the luckies.

Multi-player games are a lot more dynamic because there are so many moving parts. There is no turn taking; I play as you play. Because of this some would say that multi-player games are closer reflection of the world than a 1-player game. In multi-player games, you can capitalize off of other people's weaknesses and mistakes as opposed to building your strengths and personal definition of success. In a multi-player game, someone can win because of someone else's unforced error instead of winning because they performed to the best of their ability that day.

Does a swimmer watch video of another swimmer or do they just swim? Does Tiger Woods study other golfers at all or does he just practice on his game? If I was a golfer today, I wouldn't compare myself to Tiger Woods; I would compare myself to me (so that I don't get discouraged). As much as I would like to win, I would focus on beating my personal best score. If his best is a 10 under par and mine is a 4 and I shoot a 6, then I've beaten my best self though it may not have been better than Tiger Woods' personal best.

When we think we're playing other people, it's extremely easy to externalize loss (ie The referee cheated. He had a head start.) and take credit for victory (ie We were just the better team). At the end of the day, whether 1-player or multi-player, all we can do is our best. If we truly hone in on our unique purpose and define what we want to be and were created to be #1 at in the world, no one can or will compete with us and the competition will only be between us and our best selves. We need to let go of the underdog mentality and start thinking like champs; underdogs don't think like underdogs. We are our best coach and competitor, so we need to stop playing ourselves, and really...play ourselves. We define the game by how great we want to be, not by other people.

5 Ways to Think like a NY (New You) Giant

In her book Return to Love, Marrianne Williamson wrote, "You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you." So in light of the New York Giants Super Bowl victory, here are 5 ways to stop thinking small and start thinking like a giant.

The New You (NY) Giant Mentality

1. It's not how you start, but it's how you finish: The Giants began the 2007-2008 NFL season with 2 losses. There 10-6 record was enough to earn them a wild card and get them into the playoffs. Once you get in the door, just dance like you deserved to be there all along.

2. The past is only as relevant as you make it: Negative and positive histories can be equally inspirational. The Giants hadn't won a Super Bowl since 1991 whereas the Patriots won 3 of the last 6 Super Bowls. Making the past meaningless is the only way to set-up and up-set. It means taking full accountability for your life and no excuses.

3. Tasting failure first is better than tasting it last: The Patriots almost had a perfect 19-0 season, but almost doesn't count. Tasting losing early can serve as inspiration for you not to crave it later...if you learn from it.

4. It's not if you lose, but when: We all lose at some point in life, but the question is when. The Giants had a 1-3 pre-season and 4-0 post-season. The Giants also lost to the Patriots one month ago by 3 points to close the regular season.

5. Other's expectations are meaningless: People off the field don't matter. There was a 11.5 point spread that the Patriots would win on Sunday making this one of the biggest upsets in Super Bowl history.

In Nascar, there is a car called the pace car which limits the speed of competing cars on a racetrack in the case of a major accident or obstruction on the track. Some things to note about the pace car are that:

1. It's not a competitor in the race
2. It slows down the race, allowing everyone to catch up
3. You can never pass it until it exits the track

Imagine being the leading driver in a race when the pace car comes out. Not fun! You've been winning all along and now you feel like second place and every one else that you were ahead of is on your tail.

In life, we oftentimes feel like we're behind too. We're either behind:

1. Our own aggressive 5-year plan (ie millionaire by 30)
2. Our parents' plan for us or,
3. Our peers

Many of us have a pace setter in life. We judge our progress and self-worth according the pacesetter. The pacesetter always makes us feel behind. Oftentimes that pacesetter is a real person that we know. We had every opportunity that they had growing up. We went to school with them and played with them as a little kids. You know whom I'm talking about!

The feeling of always being behind no matter what you do is unhealthy and feeds our competitive nature. We start competing against cars that we already lapped 3 times just to feel like we're getting ahead of someone...anyone. Whoever your pace car is, whoever your parents always ask about every time you come home, whoever you think you should be by now, keep in mind that:

1. They're not a real competitor
2. Following them actually slows down your progress
3. You can never pass them until they exit your mind

You're on your own track to success, running your own race at your own pace. Where you are today is right where you're supposed to be. Everything is right on schedule.

Recently I was bowling and I had an insight. When I bowl, I take my stance, envision a strike (or spare), and then I proceed. Based on the rules, when we bowl we can only go so far before we must let go of the ball. If we cross the line, it gets slippery. Once we let go of the ball, what happens between our release and the pins is out of our control. We can put spin on the ball to alter the trajectory as it rolls down the lane, but in order to get a strike there is an element of luck. When strikes happen, the ball never hits every pin; the ball only knocks down some pins and those pins knock down other pins. The only thing any bowler can do is prepare for the moment that the ball is in their hands, because once it is released, everything is out of the bowler’s control.

Life is a lot like bowling. We all want to “strike” big. However, many people think that in order to strike big, they have to be in control every step of the way. They want to walk the slippery path in efforts to eliminate all uncertainty and make sure that each pin falls down the way they want. Not only does this eliminate the uncertainty, but it also takes away the fun and excitement of playing the game. The true fun comes from not knowing what’s going to happen; the excitement rest in the moment of no control. No one has perfect control of the chaos at the end of the alley.

Life is full of uncertainty and it is impossible to strike big without learning how to become comfortable with that uncertainty and being willing to take big risk. Oftentimes we get frustrated when we try to dictate the outcome and it doesn’t end up the way we wanted, not realizing that our own unwillingness to let go is what stood in the way of the best outcome. In bowling there is a definite best outcome-a strike. In life the best outcomes are unlimited and when we fail to release control we cut ourselves off from the opportunity to ever strike big. A bowling ball can be a metaphor for any intention we have including a prayer (for healing, for forgiveness, etc), an idea (movie script, business venture, etc), or an action (performance, service learning trip, etc). Like bowling, life is not about being in total control; it’s about having faith in times of no control. In order to manifest any intention and strike big, always remember to:
1. Prepare
2. Let go, and
3. Have Faith

Live purposefully!

Splinters are nagging. They are so tiny yet they cause so much pain. The worst ones are the ones that get stuck under the skin. You can’t reach them without pulling back layers of skin, which is a painful process in and of itself. After a while, you forget about them, but they hurt whenever pressure is applied to a certain area around them.

We also have splinters in life. They are those negative moments that our memory can’t erase. Those sour memories forever shape the course of our lives until we fully heal from them. A couple of my personal splinters include:

1. When I was rejected by the first girl I asked to be my girlfriend in 5th grade. This single event shaped how I related to girls for the next ten years. I didn’t trust the women I liked and as a result ended up hurting them.

2. The time I got thrown out at home plate during the little league all stars semi-finals game to conclude the final inning. This moment made me a more cautious player in all sports, which ultimately hurt my baseball, basketball, and soccer performance.

3. And more…

Fortunately, I have many moments to be proud of like:
• Hitting .800 in the same baseball tournament mentioned above
• The castle I built in 7th grade
• Making the math Olympics team in 6th grade
• Earning the Math and Citizenship Awards at high school graduation
• Leading the 2003 UCLA High School Conference
• My UCLA African Grad speech in 2003
• And more…

Despite the successes that I remember and people remember me for, I must still dig out the many splinters that I have accumulated that are still shaping my decisions today. I don’t want to hurt anymore more women. I want to trust and love my mom, my future wife, and my female friends. I don’t want to look over my shoulder in the game of baseball, basketball, or life. I want to take educated risk; only risk yield large rewards.

What are your splinters and how are they affecting your today?

Live purposefully!

Inspired by Miguel